Am I really that person? The grass-is-always-greener-on-the-other-side person?
I try to live in the present, but so much of my time is spent holding out hope for the future.Once this long-term substitute position ends, I can lose weight and heal my foot. Once I get the cat's fleas under control (my INDOOR cat!), I can work on getting the house clean. Once soccer season is over, I can rest. Once my boss sees how intelligent and caring I am, he will stop criticizing me and I can focus on work instead of trying not to cry. Once my endometriosis is fixed, my depression will magically go away too.
But instead, I am sitting here in pain (foot and abdomen) in my dirty house, tired and depressed.
As my spiritual director would ask, "Where is God in all of this?"
God is here in the mess with me. God is in my anti-depressants and coffee. God is in my marriage and family. God is in my students and co-workers.
So, no matter how bad things get in my head, I will continue to try to focus on the positives... the "and yets." Shelby has been acting up all week; and yet, she stopped to give me a hug on her way out of school. Louis hasn't turned in a single paper for a month; and yet, I saw him independently working on the latest poetry assignment. Civil rights violations are happening all over; and yet, same-sex marriage is now the law of the land, and our first black president is about to turn over the reigns to our first female president.
Martin Luther King Jr. — 'The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.'
