It's one of those days.
It has been "one of those days" for months now. About a year ago, I was a mess. I assumed that my recurrent clinical depression was probably to blame, but it didn't feel the same as past episodes. A series of trips to doctors and tests led to the diagnosis of endometriosis (where the tissue that lines the uterus "escapes" and shows up in other places of the abdomen).
June 2014 I had exploratory surgery, and the surgeon found that I have severe endometriosis: it is not only all throughout my abdominal cavity, it also has connected some organs to others in a dangerous way. The surgeon removed the ovarian cysts and cleaned up some of the endometriosis, but most of the treatment would come medically (through hormone treatment).
The "cure" for endometriosis is menopause. At that point, the endometrial tissue stops cycling and spreading. My friends who are a few decades older than I am had their endometriosis treated by radical hysterectomy (all reproductive parts removed). It sent them into immediate menopause, with the health risks associated with menopause increased due to their young age. These days, doctors try to convince the body that there is no need to have a menstrual cycle, while still having the ovaries produce necessary hormones for overall health.
Due to my fear of triggering depression, my medical team started me on the lowest rung of treatment: a Merena IUD. It sits in the uterus and gives off low levels of hormones that stay localized to the abdomen. For 30% of women, it totally stops their menstruation after six months. For me, it didn't stop menstruation, it made it lighter and longer. The location of the IUD and the irregular shape of my uterus gave me on-going sciatica.
Two weeks ago, my pain was so great (and my fever so debilitating) that I finally went back to my primary nurse-practitioner. She pulled out the IUD and started me on the next step up of hormone therapy: low-level birth control pills.
The sciatica is gone (no more hip and leg pain), but all the other symptoms are back (fever, abdominal pain, cramps, intense bleeding, fatigue). It is hard to get out of bed in the morning. It is hard to think clearly and make good decisions. It is hard to do anything or spend time with anyone. I just want to watch TV and lie around with my therapy cat (who has recently been diagnosed with renal failure).
I haven't been writing blog postings because I don't have much to say that isn't whiny and complaining. I am struggling now with a way to end this post with something positive.
So, I'll just thank all of my family and friends who have been supportive thus far (especially my husband), and leave it at that.
